A Blonde (joke)

HOGGY952

HOGGY952

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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a
person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work
and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humour!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells,

"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little b****** on your knee!" :lol:
 
A blonde young woman who had been out of work for some time was walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for some odd jobs to do when she approached a large house with a long drive, where the owner's luxurious car was parked. She went up to the house, rang the bell and the owner came to the door.
He asked the young woman what he could do for her. The blonde told him about herself, how she was out of work and did he have any odd jobs that she could do. The man thought about it for a while, then remembered that he wanted his porch painted. He asked the blonde if she can paint.
"Yes" the blonde said.
"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?
"Oh, I don't know, say 50 quid."
"That sounds OK. There's the brush and paint. You go ahead and get started." He closed the door and went back inside.
His wife asked him, "Who was at the door?" He told her about the blonde and how she had agreed to paint the porch for £50.
His astonished wife said "50 pounds, but that porch is big. It will take her all morning. You really should pay her more."
"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she looks a bit dumb!"
Half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. The man answered the door and the blonde is there and says, "All done."
With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it; you've already finished painting the porch?"......"Yes, I have -- and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."
 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger's broken."
 
wreckedit said:
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger's broken."
Click to expand...

Great!


Two girls were speeding down the motorway at 90mph.


"Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel, "do you see any cops following us?"

The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."

"Damn!" curses the brunette. "Are his flashers on?

The blonde turns around again. "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes...."
 
A woman is agreeing paint colours with her builder as her house is almost finished, as they go into a room he walks over to the window and looks outside, pauses, opens the window and shouts "green side up", closes the window and they get on with chosing paint colours.

They go into the next room and again he goes over to the window, pauses, opens the window and shouts "green side up".

In the next room the same thing happens and the woman asks what is going on. . .

The builder replies "nothing to worry about, I have a couple of blonde's outside laying the turf"

Credit to Sarah Kennedy on R2
 
Johndug said:
wreckedit said:
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger's broken."
Click to expand...

Great!


Two girls were speeding down the motorway at 90mph.


"Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel, "do you see any cops following us?"

The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."

"Damn!" curses the brunette. "Are his flashers on?

The blonde turns around again. "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes...."
Click to expand...

I can see that being reality, as to what I see on reality TV, and 'I'm a Celebrity', or even worse a TV programme I forget the name of, where the TV company install a load of teenagers into a house. The mentally deranged beamed into my house, no thanks. Did Edison really invent this for us? (no actually, he didn't invent TV as we know it, misconception, as his version was a roller in the back of the set, which was inefficient, but did invent 3-d tv.)
 
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