mottie wrote this in a topic I am not allowed to reply in...
"Been consoling Mrs Mottie today. She and her sister signed their mum in at a care home this morning and they are both tearing themselves apart as to whether they have done the right thing. They have been in denial for some time now about their mums dementia. Plain fact is that she cannot live on her own. Living in our house and then her sisters house for 2 or three days at a time she sort of calms down but she is running them ragged. Left on her own, she has forgotten how to feed and wash herself and although they have not said yet, she is wearing her neighbours down knocking them up at 2 and 3 in the morning resulting in them having to phone us up to go and collect her. They both said she had a face like a smacked arse when they dropped her off this morning - she is sort of having a good day today and she knows what’s going on."
We had to help out a relative who couldn't face making a choice about his partner, so we stepped in to help separate the practical from the emotional...
Making that choice is very difficult, but if the care home has the right procedures in place in time most people come to accept their 'new home'.
And with dementia, in a bizarre way as the memory fades there does seem to be a calming down of behaviour...
A few years on and we learned yesterday that she is now in the hospital with pneumonia and almost certainly terminal.
And if I were allowed to say what had I done today, in a few days time I suspect it would be watching someone die
But the last year or so she seemed at peace.
So reassure them that they have made the right choice!
"Been consoling Mrs Mottie today. She and her sister signed their mum in at a care home this morning and they are both tearing themselves apart as to whether they have done the right thing. They have been in denial for some time now about their mums dementia. Plain fact is that she cannot live on her own. Living in our house and then her sisters house for 2 or three days at a time she sort of calms down but she is running them ragged. Left on her own, she has forgotten how to feed and wash herself and although they have not said yet, she is wearing her neighbours down knocking them up at 2 and 3 in the morning resulting in them having to phone us up to go and collect her. They both said she had a face like a smacked arse when they dropped her off this morning - she is sort of having a good day today and she knows what’s going on."
We had to help out a relative who couldn't face making a choice about his partner, so we stepped in to help separate the practical from the emotional...
Making that choice is very difficult, but if the care home has the right procedures in place in time most people come to accept their 'new home'.
And with dementia, in a bizarre way as the memory fades there does seem to be a calming down of behaviour...
A few years on and we learned yesterday that she is now in the hospital with pneumonia and almost certainly terminal.
And if I were allowed to say what had I done today, in a few days time I suspect it would be watching someone die
But the last year or so she seemed at peace.
So reassure them that they have made the right choice!
