Mr Bean strikes again!

A

alex mills

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Had a few disasters, but a couple that come to mind is the time I decided to change my oil and save a few quid, but a few days before a bag of oval nails had burst all over the floor in the garage. Was sure I'd got them all up, but nope must've missed one and yep one front tyre repair later I saved nowt lol.
Another time I was running central heating pipes and thought for a laugh I'd pretend to the missus I'd punctured a pipe re-fitting the floorboards, chuckling to myself at what her reaction would be I hammered a nail right into a 22mm return flow pipe. What an eejit haha.
 
The bit about the pipe reminds me of a few years ago (OK 40 years ago) I had a phone call from a house owner who had decided to fix down the floorboards in this first floor hall. I can easily understand how he managed to nail through one central heating pipe but he then went on to repeat the error more than 10 times.
 
About 30 years ago when my daughter was two years old, I was laying in bed one morning and I could hear Mrs Mottie saying to our daughter to pick up her toys off the stairs in case daddy tripped over them. Our daughter was having none of it so I got out of bed and started coming down the stairs. I pretended to fall but I pretended too good because I really lost it and started coming down the stairs on my arse. To stop myself I stuck my leg out ....... and broke half a dozen bannister spindles!

Another thing that sticks in my mind was from last year. We were on a cruise and we were coming down the stairs. Mrs Mottie kept on telling me not to put my hand on the hand rail because of germs. To prove there were no germs I licked the handrail. That night I had violent stomach cramps and I was chucking up from both ends. Of course I got no sympathy, just an I-told-you-so look!
 
Mottie said:
About 30 years ago when my daughter was two years old, I was laying in bed one morning and I could hear Mrs Mottie saying to our daughter to pick up her toys off the stairs in case daddy tripped over them. Our daughter was having none of it so I got out of bed and started coming down the stairs. I pretended to fall but I pretended too good because I really lost it and started coming down the stairs on my arse. To stop myself I stuck my leg out ....... and broke half a dozen bannister spindles!

Another thing that sticks in my mind was from last year. We were on a cruise and we were coming down the stairs. Mrs Mottie kept on telling me not to put my hand on the hand rail because of germs. To prove there were no germs I licked the handrail. That night I had violent stomach cramps and I was chucking up from both ends. Of course I got no sympathy, just an I-told-you-so look!
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This is too much. haha - My Mrs is always first in line to tell me I told you so. This totally sounds like something I would do.
 
Mottie said:
About 30 years ago when my daughter was two years old, I was laying in bed one morning and I could hear Mrs Mottie saying to our daughter to pick up her toys off the stairs in case daddy tripped over them. Our daughter was having none of it so I got out of bed and started coming down the stairs. I pretended to fall but I pretended too good because I really lost it and started coming down the stairs on my arse. To stop myself I stuck my leg out ....... and broke half a dozen bannister spindles!
Click to expand...

This guy is not pretending:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:


WARNING! OBSCENE LANGUAGE VOICEOVER ALERT!
 
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ON an old property, floorboards upstairs, I knew the CH pipework had been notched into the beams and under the floorboards, so those had been screwed down OK, BUT one I left , as the pipework made it difficult.
Anyway , other half moved the bed and mentioned it looked like the floorboard needed a nail, as there was a hole and slight movement at the join of the two boards.
So i got a floor nail and as i hit it with a hammer I suddenly remembered why i had left it alone, a fraction of a second before being covered in water from the Pressure CH system.
 
Mottie said:
To stop myself I stuck my leg out ....... and broke half a dozen bannister spindles!
Click to expand...

I did that on separate occasions twice, half- asleep in the middle of the night, a couple of years ago. Our stairs are (I'm told) quite steep, I have measured them and they are within standards, but I have never been able to get my size 9's fully on them straight. I was used to going up or down without holding the bannister to steady me - the first time I skidded off the nose of the top step on the way down, went down on my backside and bounced on my bum all the way to the bottom, stopped at the bottom by the stair lift [1]. Second time, I again slipped at the top step, but somehow my left knee hit and went through, breaking a spindle, which stopped me. It left me with a cracking bruise.

I managed to repair the spindle with wood glue, binding it tightly back together until it dried, with string. I'm no much more careful, especially in the middle of the night and steady myself via the bannister.

[1] A left over, needed by my previous partner.
 
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