the caves deep beneath New Wimbledon where no Umpyre could possibly fit. But the Wombles knew. Oh yes, they knew
Never Ending Story
- Thread starter tim west
- Start date
I
imamartian
Rubish!!
boy did they know rubbish... but one of the wombles had just given birth... to their latest litter !!!....
boy did they know rubbish... but one of the wombles had just given birth... to their latest litter !!!....
"What is it?" asked Great Uncle EU.
"Let's see. Empty beer can, sweetie wrapper, piece of Borg. Think we'd better throw that out."
"What?"
"Out"
"WHAT! YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!"
"Let's see. Empty beer can, sweetie wrapper, piece of Borg. Think we'd better throw that out."
"What?"
"Out"
"WHAT! YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!"
L
lifesagasman
about Ermintrude and Dylan! But, in a roundabout way, the magic had gone
but it wasn't Norbert's fault at all. Behind a secret panel in the great library, a holographic projector was flashing "Service required"
O
oompah
which will be a devil of a job to tow the libary to a garage for its service, so its time to call in garages on wheels.....
and so it was that, ten minutes, five adverts and two birthday announcements later, Mr Sparks arrived clutching a big plastic spanner.
"A challenge. I like it!", he chortled. The Umpyres looked on in utter disbelief
"A challenge. I like it!", he chortled. The Umpyres looked on in utter disbelief
L
lifesagasman
as the front-line battle tank tip-toed through the tulips. "Infinity and Beyond!", hailed the rough-hued Commander, umbrella skew-wiff and legs akimbo. "I see no ships", he cried, fully expecting the lily-fronds to part, and reveal a large...
pink elephant bearing fission ships with mushy peas
L
lifesagasman
dribbling out of his trousers. "Curse these inferior plastic Taiwanese bicycle clips" exploded the Colonel. "Time was they were finest Sheffield steel"
He reflected ruefully over the lack of foreplay these days, musing to himself that it was all chop-chop, hurry-hurry, Hari-Kari, with barely time for pleasantries, let alone full tantric dissipation.
In the quiet of the drawing room (named after the carefully concealed articles of mild torture secreted amongst the taffeta drapes) he refreshed the under-garments of last night's mannequin and prepared the After Eights in readiness for tonights onslaught of self-flagellation.
"I'll show them how it should be done", he determined, "gout or no gout!", whereupon he reached, trembling, for the plasticine out of the naughty cupboard and fashioned for himself a lifesized replica of a....
He reflected ruefully over the lack of foreplay these days, musing to himself that it was all chop-chop, hurry-hurry, Hari-Kari, with barely time for pleasantries, let alone full tantric dissipation.
In the quiet of the drawing room (named after the carefully concealed articles of mild torture secreted amongst the taffeta drapes) he refreshed the under-garments of last night's mannequin and prepared the After Eights in readiness for tonights onslaught of self-flagellation.
"I'll show them how it should be done", he determined, "gout or no gout!", whereupon he reached, trembling, for the plasticine out of the naughty cupboard and fashioned for himself a lifesized replica of a....
I
imamartian
... very famous Lancastrian plumber called Gas_is_a_life_man, but the obvious problem was.....
L
lifesagasman
all in his head...
I
imamartian
it was at this point the restraints started to pain his wrists.... plastic ties - the bain of criminals, started to cut in. "Ow!" he wailed.... "I'll 'fess up" he blubbered... but no one was listening. Gas_is_a_life_man tried to nudge to blindfold off on the side of the cold metal bed he was laid on... it was too tight.
Suddenly the steel door flew open... there were many footsteps.. this was it...
Suddenly the steel door flew open... there were many footsteps.. this was it...
L
lifesagasman
the moment of truth had come! As the Nurse teetered in on her stilleto'd feet, the Colonel's life flashed before his eyes.
"Oh, Mercy, what have I done to deserve this? If I could remember, I'd enter the same competition a thousand times again".
Blubbering meekly, he squinted sidelong at the black lines of the stockings running heavenly up the back of the Nurse's slender legs, to the point of intersection with the raised hemline of the micro leather apron.
"Ye Gods, tombola evenings peeping through the knot-hole in the coal shed of the W.I. were never so eye-watering", he reflected, as the Nurse approached brandishing a rather impressive...
"Oh, Mercy, what have I done to deserve this? If I could remember, I'd enter the same competition a thousand times again".
Blubbering meekly, he squinted sidelong at the black lines of the stockings running heavenly up the back of the Nurse's slender legs, to the point of intersection with the raised hemline of the micro leather apron.
"Ye Gods, tombola evenings peeping through the knot-hole in the coal shed of the W.I. were never so eye-watering", he reflected, as the Nurse approached brandishing a rather impressive...