Never Ending Story

.. bedpan!!!

"it's time colonel", she tweeted.. (she had a high pitched voice, and posted her activities on the 'net at the same time!!)

"it's time for your poo..." her eyes glinted in the aftenoon moonshine... (alcoholics of the highest order were encourage to work)... "you know you want to gas_is_a_life_man it's been three weeks now !"...

He did need to, and the pressure started to build.... it was only a matter of time ....
 
before the sh*t hit the pan, pebble-dashing all and sundry with an aromatic layer of martian...
 
..ness (wasn't expecting such a powerful comeback lifesa lol).the kind of martiany smell you get when martian plains are ploughed late spring for ferrous mites... burried deep in the red soil...

.. and the colenel delivered... like the Royal Mails, post-person of the year .. with more than a panful of...
 
Tangerine Army would start singing their famous song - the first line says .........
 
.. the Hoover... this hoover had seen a scandal or two... all that sucking was eventually going to....
 
... and without air cover, the invasion was doomed. General H was distraught, his tanks were amassed along the border, his troops by the thousand marched behind.... but his airforce stood useless on runways across the land..... it was time for his last option....
 
cucumber sandwiches and tea on the lawn. Shotgun poised, he outwitted any snuffling underground creature which dared bespoil the pristine astro-turf with mounds of unsightly sub-strata.
"Scrotum!!" he yelped, beckoning the grizzled gardener from the
 
potting shed, sheepishly followed by her ladyship who in a state of undress shouted......
 
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