Topical jokes

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Deleted member 174758

A Putin collaborator, a tax evader and a racist bigot walk into a bar.

The barman sys to him, "Sorry I can't serve you, this is a no smoking area, Mr Farage"
 
Joe Biden was rushed to hospital with Bowel problems.
Apparently he can't stop POOtin.
 
Putin had been biden his time until Trump was ousted.
 
Vladimir Putin is at an airport and is going through customs.
Customs officer: Occupation?

Putin: No, just visiting
 
Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans
Each pair comes with a complimentary Boris Johnson in the back pocket
 
First off I am ok. Understandably, a little shaken this morning. I was robbed at the petrol station by our house. After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the police. The whole thing was caught on camera. The officers were quick to respond and calmed me down, explaining that this is happening all over the city. My money is all gone, all of it, but I am alive, that’s all that matters. The police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes.….

It was pump number 2.
 
A guy standing in a bread queue in Moscow turns to his friends and says, “I have had enough, save my place, I am going to shoot Putin.”

Two hours later he returns to claim his place in line, so his friends ask, “Did you get him?”

“No, the line there was even longer than the line here.”

(Ukrainian joke)
 
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