Daughter tells mother that a boy aged 15/16 kissed the son aged 16 a few months ago in school. Son confirms this was the case but that he told the other boy that he wasnt interested in boys in general and don't do it again or words to that effect. Son also confirms he definitely didnt give consent or lead other boy into doing this. Son and daughter both think they had consent training and that its likely that not seeking consent would lead to suspension as a minimum but are not sure and cant remember if it covered boy on boy consent issues. Mother thinks it should be reported to the school as we wouldn't be having this conversation if it happened to daughter. Son doesn't seem to care . Workallies group member says it shouldn't be reported and boy is probably embarrassed that his first time was such a misjudgment and this could lead to self harm or something etc etc
what would you do if anything
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1) Ask mother if she ever kissed a girl at school age.
2) Do nothing, why risk opening a ****e storm for those involved.
2) Do nothing, why risk opening a ****e storm for those involved.
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In today's 'woke' society I think doing nothing is probably safer. What will happen if you report it to the school? Most likely the School would be getting a Psychiatrist out for your son and the perpetrator. The perpetrator would most likely be encouraged to express his feelings better.
In the end both could/would be a taking point in the school. Especially so if your son doesn't appear to be bothered.
Just be there for him if he wants to talk about it; he probably find it easier to relate to his mother. He's probably annoyed with his sister for telling you.
Thinking back to my time at school 4 & 5th forms there was a mutual masterbation group carry on in a group of lads. Most of us ignored it, some got swept up in it and the girls either said how disgusting or offered their hand in help. What would have occurred if the teachers found out? Detention and letter home, would it have stopped them, probably not; made them more discrete, again probably not. It only lasted for less than one term.
In the end both could/would be a taking point in the school. Especially so if your son doesn't appear to be bothered.
Just be there for him if he wants to talk about it; he probably find it easier to relate to his mother. He's probably annoyed with his sister for telling you.
Thinking back to my time at school 4 & 5th forms there was a mutual masterbation group carry on in a group of lads. Most of us ignored it, some got swept up in it and the girls either said how disgusting or offered their hand in help. What would have occurred if the teachers found out? Detention and letter home, would it have stopped them, probably not; made them more discrete, again probably not. It only lasted for less than one term.
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If some boy imposed his self on another boy
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Unless the other lad fancied him.
Disturbed trans likes to fantasise about violence. Don't spoil it for the nutter.
Leave it there.
Of course you do. I'm pretty sure that if your meek 12 yr old daughter said that a 15yr old boy kissed her (forcibly), you'd pat her on the back and tell her to get on with house chores.
Woke, lol.
Not 'wasn't interested in boys at all'? Sounds like he wasn’t interested in that particular boy to me.
Do you mean they would or wouldn't report if it had been the daughter?
Sounds like the other boy chanced his arm and got it wrong. Clumsy teenager!
Son isn't bothered and seems to have handled the situation well.
Good point about the sex of the person kissed...
But sadly there are too many 'wrinklies' out there who have forgotten that all of us were clumsy teenagers who 'got it wrong' sometimes in a variety of scenarios!
But then they include those who don't understand that 'in general' also means 'all' in a weird way of questioning the irrelevant...
As usual!
The incident isnt recent so im not sure if this is exactly what was said and if such an interpretation can be put on this
This is the issue i.e. if it was a boy and a girl the response would be different as they have been told in school that this is not ok but its unclear about if it was a non sexually defined scenario in the lessons or if it was boy and girl scenario.
I do agree that its someone chancing their arm in the same way many diy and professional builders do . Im leaning towards the doing nothing idea
If that is actually the case, then the system in place in the school is wrong...
Which is what should be questioned in a 'general' way.
But if the boy dealt with it his way, and is ok with that then no point in escalating it...
Awkward questions then get asked like 'did you lead him on in any way?' etc...
Which would probably do more harm than good!
Edit: Wondering as said earlier, what you would think if it was a girl kissing another girl?
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To be fair im just speculating, i've no experience of this . I would hope that parents schools and authorities handle it in the same way regardless of the gender.
Someone also pointed out to me that being gay was illegal for ages in the UK but apparently being a lesbian wasn't. I find this interesting.
But i think if it had been two girls then it would be a shrug your shoulders and move on thing as well
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