I have some talk that I no longer need. Anyone willing to trade it for, oh I dunno, um, Kylie Minogue perhaps?
The talk is in very good condition. It used to be quite small, and when I first got it it was pretty much useless. Sometimes the talk has got dirty, but I've looked after it and always cleaned it up afterwards. I've lubricated it most Friday evenings, and never loaned it to anyone. I've never been careless with it, in case it cost lives. I've upgraded it occasionally, and I've kept all the certificates to prove it.
I also have some talk available in other languages, in case anyone's interested...