When to stop with Building management?

[ericmark]

I have been living with my disabled mother who also has Alzheimer's for over a year, and been trying to ensure the house keeps a reasonable temperature, I am alerted if she goes out, and a host of other automated aids even a door bell that we can answer when up stairs without going to the door.

However at times I think the system installed is OTT. For example my easy chair in living room is within arms reach of the TRV, but to change the room temperature I need to use either my phone or PC, and I don't keep my phone in my pocket at home, it goes on charge out of mothers reach.

So I can press a button for 2 seconds on the eTRV which will set it to 21°C for one hour, but that is standard setting for mother, and if I press for too long, 4 seconds puts it into pairing mode.

The sockets with remote control can be switched on/off with three remote controls kept around the house or with computer or phone, they control the alarms at the door, so we can turn off the alarm before answering the door, however they do not report on/off so unless you look at the socket your not sure if on or off. So I bought an expensive version which did report on/off, then found this will only work with phone or PC is can't be paired to the remote controls.

I have also found so many items which can't be switched on when not powered, even my battery charger if switched off and on using a remote control will not charge as you need to press the mode button. I see the point, and this is very valid with things like garage doors, if you can close it without being in view then you could trap an animal including human children inside the garage without knowing.

I remember fitting and operation building and access system to BT buildings, and it stopped a simple cure which engineers were using to keep equipment running, they could no longer open all windows and doors to cool the exchange.

I have lost count of how many times I have gone to my father-in-laws to find out why some thing is not working only to find he has switched it off. He seems to have abandoned the central heating and instead turns the gas fire on and off as an when required. Well he turns it on, as to turning off well I can only stand the heat for 15 minutes. Wish the fire was thermostat controlled. Seems people over 80 love really hot houses.

So now we have turned out attention to his house, he had internet, but daughter removed it, so is it really worth all the effort of putting it back in so we can monitor his house and have it automated similar to my mothers, or should we leave it simple as it was in the 80's?

 

[MeldrewsMate]

It sound like you love your gadgets.
Old people don't usually like change, so unless there's a good reason for it (and the web connection alone will add £20 a month to your bills); don't. As an example, my parents (in their eighties) had an old backboiler and gravity hot water. I replaced it with a high efficiency boiler and pressurised cylinder. Then dad complained that the new double panel (shorter) radiator wasn't long enough to dry their towels 'like the old one'. "Use the two towel rads provided then", I replied. Then he complained that the old system used to get the towels warm EVERY morning, the new system only does some days - so I had to explain that the new cylinder has a thermostat which cuts out the boiler when the water's hot enough; then I had to install a new timing relay TO MAKE THE NEW FANGLED SYSTEM BEHAVE AS MUCH LIKE THE OLD GRAVITY SYSTEM AS POSSIBLE.
Conclusion: old people just want the old stuff to keep working, so by all means use technology to help them, but keep it low key so they don't feel they have to read the manual every time they want the telly on.

Old people like visitors though, especially family.

A Nest type thermostat, for instance, will allow them to change the heating by twisting the dial, and you to monitor the room temperature remotely...but you'll need that web connection.
A Nest webcam will allow you to see them remotely, with their permission of course, and I have come across a dog monitoring webcam that allows two way conversation too, maybe a useful tool if both parties are agreeable.

But I repeat, old people like visitors.

Hope this helps.
MM

 

[ericmark]

My problem is two old people, father-in-law only 91 and as yet not too bad, eye sight going and do worry about trip hazards, he has no careers, and only link to outside world is his phone, and he does not complain, his house next door but one to mine, we thought no problem, his other daughter tries to save money and has removed internet, and to be frank she has removed it so she can arrange replacement if required.

Problem is we now live with my disabled mother of 92 who needs 24/7 care, so can't visit my father-in-law unless mother in day care or rest bite, and with so little time to myself last thing I want to do is visit my father-in-law, I want some time to myself.

But he leaves the phone switched off, he has house at silly temperature 27°C not uncommon and is easy persuaded to buy all sorts of rubbish like solar panels to heat hot water which means immersion heater has been removed, so since solar panel water heating is about as much good as a chocolate fire guard he needs the central heating to get hot water.

I am not dextrous enough to swap the motorised valve his own son was going to do that, and I would wire up. However while waiting orange wire removed otherwise boiler going 24/7 as micro switch has failed. As long as central heating is used, not a problem, however I find no central heating radiator in living room, just a gas fire. Open plan house so heat will drift through, but this is clearly why he uses gas fire all the time. It is also why house gets so hot as there is no thermostatic control on the gas fire.

I have suggested a rotor calling him every day to see all is OK, however his other daughter and son seem to think they can go to USA and Germany and leave it all to my wife, and I am kicking up, she has enough on her plate with my mother without her dad as well. OK if something wrong, but not to visit every day as well, OK she is younger than me, only 63, but she is still at a point where life should be slowing down.

Before my mothers Alzheimer's reached the point where we had to move in with her, she could not move in with us as out house not wheel chair friendly, we had internet in her house and each day I could quickly check on the pet cam that she was OK, because in a wheel chair there have been careers visiting for years, they would ring if anything wrong, so did not need the camera as much as my father-in-law does. But he cooks on gas which seems to have no safety features, you can boil pans dry and melt the bottom out and gas keeps on burning, not like our induction cooker which has safety features galore. He has no call button, no call centre linked smoke alarm, no RCD protection, and has never learnt how to use a mobile phone.

He does switch things off, like the solar panels, the cordless phone, the TV booster, and anything else which should be left switched on. It is the things he should switch off that he forgets, he puts things away like cans of coke in the freezer, yes they burst, and will not report break downs like the stair lift in centre of stairway a real danger to anyone squeezing past it, and a real trip hazard. Not helped when manufacturers refuse to tell one how to manually wind to charging station. That was all caused because he switched it off, he thought only needed to be on when using it. As yet not switched off electric garage door, but give it time.

Some one fitted Smart meters, if we could monitor them that would at least show he is using kettle etc. But as yet no access.

 

[bernardgreen]

But I repeat, old people like visitors.

and their independence.

So they may not like visitors who meddle and/or give them advice about how to live a modern life

A) they survived in a world without the modern technology that us youngsters consider as being essential.

B) they have a lot of wisdom and knowledge that youngsters would be better advised to take note off.

and many like me think that age is only a number and not a state of mind

 

[ericmark]

Age in its self is not a problem, but losing the ability to do things they have done OK for years is. When I had my accident it was obvious I could not carry on as before, but where eye sight or brain is slowly degrading it's very hard to know at what point they are a danger to themselves or others, he can't judge distance, and has lost the central vision, but by moving his eyes his brain fills in the gaps, so he can still pass the requirement for driving, he can read the number plate at the set distance, but with Charles Bonnet syndrome it is not safe for him to drive, and his son has his car so he can't, but when the Opthamologist says he does not need to tell the DVLA as he is still within the requirements trying to convince him not to drive is hard.

He is even in danger of tripping when using a bus, and really when he needs to go out some one needs to be with him, and walking should be kept to a minimum, yet they have withdrawn his Blue Badge as under new rules he does not qualify. At least no arguments with my mother, seems having only one leg does at the moment qualify for a Blue Badge.

I think if the reading of the Smart Meter can be done by his children seeing when kettle is used and when gas is used should tell us enough. Seeing the power go up and down shows he is mobile and doing things, as to how much we can tell is another thing.

I did an experiment with an energy meter I plugged in the 6 way socket used by the TV, question is can I tell from power used what is happening with just 6 items, it turns out the settee is two items the power supply for aerial is another these three use 8W when settee is not being adjusted, there is also the TV, DVD and satellite box, the latter seems to vary in what it uses but once settled one can just about work out what is going on, the good point with the energy meter the scale changes with the load, so with TV off it is on a 0 - 30W scale, I have not a clue if the Smart Meters are the same, but it could be just enough to tell us he's likely OK.

 

[MeldrewsMate]

Not trying to tell you how to look after your elderly relatives, indeed I'm impressed that you are, but as stated previously they may resent what they perceive as interference from (well meaning) family. Perhaps a different strategy may pay dividends....

Have you considered suggesting a reporting-in regime? Maybe he has a favourite radio or TV programme. Could you suggest he phones you or the wife just as it ends? If he's worried about the cost, suggest he hangs up after 5 rings, and you'll ring back. In this way you'll be out of touch for 24 hours maximum and, if he fails to ring you'll be alerted to any potential problem. It also creates a habit that may be strong enough to beat the innevitable loss of memory that comes with old age. Explain to him that you worry about him, and that you want him to remain independant but if he wants your occasional help he must play his part by reporting in.

Hope that helped.

MM