That's a turnup...

Harry Bloomfield

Harry Bloomfield

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A friend of 40+ years standing, a few years ago, fell out with me - something about me wanting more favours from him, than I was supplying him with, so not spoken since. I've never been one given to counting favours done, to help anyone. In my book, favours are done freely, without expectation of reward.

I spotted a few missed calls from his number, a couple of days ago, but fearing the worst, delayed until today to message him back. He's fine, his son had been on his back, pestering him to make up and so an hour on the phone, spent catching up on life's news.
 
That's good.

I feel like you about favours. I happily do favours for folk, but some do take the Mick.

I've had people borrowing stuff frequently and it either doesn't come back and I have to pester for it or it comes back damaged.

One I had to pester to get it back and they were so bad tempered about it. When I did eventually get it back, it was broken. When I mentioned it to them they insisted it was like that when I gave it to them.

Another time I had a friend who was always going round with me and cadging money for beers etc..

It got to £200 (in the mid eighties), which he kept promising to pay back. I then I told him that was it. If he wanted to see me again, he could at least start paying me back.

I never saw him again.

Why do people do this?
 
securespark said:
Why do people do this?
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There was none of that, it was mostly hands on, or technical help, rather than borrowing.

I did have one acquaintance, who knowing how handy I was with cars, and well equipped - came round when ever he had problems to get free fixes. Basically he expected a free garage and mechanic.
 
Harry Bloomfield said:
I did have one acquaintance, who knowing how handy I was with cars, and well equipped - came round when ever he had problems to get free fixes. Basically he expected a free garage and mechanic.
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Had that years ago when we lived in the house next to my workshop. Mrs Motties sister and her husband were always coming down for Sunday dinner and a service/clutch/brakes/whatever. He was a carpenter by trade and we sort of fell out a bit when he was supposed to be making me some frames for my yard gates and they were taking ages. When I asked him how much longer they were going to be he said he worked 6 days a week and Sunday was the only day he got to spend with his family. I reminded him that I was the same but spent half of my Sundays in my workshop fixing his ****ing car! When we moved in 1990, I doubt whether they’ve been down this house more than 20 times since we moved in despite it being 40 minutes nearer to where they lived. Bloody family!
 
Harry Bloomfield said:
A friend of 40+ years standing, a few years ago, fell out with me - something about me wanting more favours from him, than I was supplying him with, so not spoken since. I've never been one given to counting favours done, to help anyone. In my book, favours are done freely, without expectation of reward.

I spotted a few missed calls from his number, a couple of days ago, but fearing the worst, delayed until today to message him back. He's fine, his son had been on his back, pestering him to make up and so an hour on the phone, spent catching up on life's news.
Click to expand...

When's he bringing his car round then, and what's up with it?
 
A friend of mine - builder, could do everything - used to live in Northfield, in Birmingham, in a cul-de-sac.

After fifteen years of being the fourth emergency service for every electrical, plumbing, and everything else issue (often at 2am), he was ready to move (y)
 
Harry Bloomfield said:
A friend of 40+ years standing, a few years ago, fell out with me - something about me wanting more favours from him, than I was supplying him with, so not spoken since. I've never been one given to counting favours done, to help anyone. In my book, favours are done freely, without expectation of reward.

I spotted a few missed calls from his number, a couple of days ago, but fearing the worst, delayed until today to message him back. He's fine, his son had been on his back, pestering him to make up and so an hour on the phone, spent catching up on life's news.
Click to expand...

Good! I thought you were going on to say he actually needs something else. Maybe tomorrow...? ;)

It is, I reckon, easy to get a "friendship" with frames of mind where one person expects another to be something that's not reasonable.
Others have done it to me, and VV. Habits develop. (Starts with bad parenting??).
Suddenly you realise that someone else gets more use from your lawnmower than you do, sort of thing.

I used to fix my own cars, and a few neighbours'. I gave up and joined the AA.
One neighbour seemed to think I should still fix HIS car. Then he asked if my AA cover would cover his car, then the penny dropped.
 
I used to be the 'Go to' person when I lived in Liverpool. Anyone needed something doing, (not cars or gas), my ex would tell them I'd pop around and have a look. Popping around could mean anything from a quick look at a light switch, a tinker with a washing machine/vacuum or decorating an old lady's/young single mother living room. It got to the point where some nights I'd come home from work and spend most of the evening at someone else's house or be fixing something of theirs in my own kitchen. I finally called a halt to it when I moved into my first garden house and said, enough is enough! It didn't make me very popular, but I eventually used my time for me!
 
Always done favours not expecting anything in return, I still do.
But during lockdown the true face of the dear "friends" was shown.
The ones who didn't open the door to me got barred from my life and, accordingly to my wife, they miss me dearly.
Of course they do, but more than anything they miss the free building and fixing services.
Now they've got to be in the queue to be ripped off by cowboys like everyone else.
 
johnny2007 said:
The ones who didn't open the door to me got barred from my life and, accordingly to my wife, they miss me dearly.
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Narcissism overload! Fudge me, you'd give Trump a run for his money.

Seriously, are you older than 12 (years old)?
 
Brigadier said:
After fifteen years of being the fourth emergency service for every electrical, plumbing, and everything else issue (often at 2am), he was ready to move (y)
Click to expand...
A mate was caught 'playing away' when he said he was called out to emergency jobs at odd hours overnight. He answered the first call and left in a hurry, he'd been gone 30mins when his employer really did ring for him and the wife answered the call out phone... Her first instinct was to call his mobile to see if he'd had an accident, when he didn't answer she used 'find my device' to find out where he was - no where near were he was supposed to be working, in fact in the other direction so she went looking...
 
Turn-up-trousers-p19jtmxuieksp77v375jc9g8n66263iynixmrtwqfk.jpg


No: THAT'S a turnup ;-)
 
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